Making Progress
I am pleased to report that I am making visible progress in several areas in my life.
I visited my doctor recently, and I have finally been able to remove meds rather than add them. We halved my anti-depressant dose and removed the Abilify and Ambien. It took about six days to wean off the Ambien, and my sleep pattern isn't completely back to normal, but the fact that I can sleep without the meds is fan-freakin'-tastic.
I also went on a writing retreat this week and finished editing my book (it comes in at a whopping 410 pages). The hardest part wasn't the editing; it was when I began reading the entries starting around last July. Seeing what we were doing this time last year; how we were making plans; trying to figure out our bifurcated life and seeing what we could do to make it work because we thought we needed a long-term solution. We believed Patrick had a future. Seeing the hope I had. The fear. The naivety. Reading those entries again was gut wrenching. It made me cry, but I wasn't a functionless puddle. I was still functional. I could still edit. And yet, I wasn't blocking the feelings. I let myself have them. It felt like real progress.
In other news, I am starting back to work in mid-September. I am really excited to see my co-workers and finally feel like a productive member of society again. Phil and I have found a house to buy that will give us a fresh start, Mira has given the house her seal of approval, and we should be closing in October.
Fall is coming. It's going to be full, but I'm feeling optimistic. As Phil and I like to say, "We're standing up and looking forward." Not to mention, pumpkin everything is coming. :) So, here's to my progress. Let's hope it continues.
I visited my doctor recently, and I have finally been able to remove meds rather than add them. We halved my anti-depressant dose and removed the Abilify and Ambien. It took about six days to wean off the Ambien, and my sleep pattern isn't completely back to normal, but the fact that I can sleep without the meds is fan-freakin'-tastic.
I also went on a writing retreat this week and finished editing my book (it comes in at a whopping 410 pages). The hardest part wasn't the editing; it was when I began reading the entries starting around last July. Seeing what we were doing this time last year; how we were making plans; trying to figure out our bifurcated life and seeing what we could do to make it work because we thought we needed a long-term solution. We believed Patrick had a future. Seeing the hope I had. The fear. The naivety. Reading those entries again was gut wrenching. It made me cry, but I wasn't a functionless puddle. I was still functional. I could still edit. And yet, I wasn't blocking the feelings. I let myself have them. It felt like real progress.
In other news, I am starting back to work in mid-September. I am really excited to see my co-workers and finally feel like a productive member of society again. Phil and I have found a house to buy that will give us a fresh start, Mira has given the house her seal of approval, and we should be closing in October.
Fall is coming. It's going to be full, but I'm feeling optimistic. As Phil and I like to say, "We're standing up and looking forward." Not to mention, pumpkin everything is coming. :) So, here's to my progress. Let's hope it continues.